I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
