it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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