what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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