We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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