Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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