I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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