I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
