i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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