Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
