Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
