I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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