Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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