uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
