i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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