i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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