I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
