Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
