okay pat passed out under dana's car
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
