If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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