whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
