Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
