You made me cry and you don't even care
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
