his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
