is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
