i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
