is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
