He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
