i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i wish my penis had a tongue
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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