while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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