we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
