I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
