Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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