He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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