Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
