the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Randomize
