No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
