Tell her she can't have a vagina
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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