At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
