Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
