I'm lost and stupid without you.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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