The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
