New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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