I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
