fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
