She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
