wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Randomize
