That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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