what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
