So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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