Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
