apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
50% drunk capacity currently
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
