so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
