How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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